I Don't think We Can Do Business

I really hope, those of “You” who read this, this is not a reflection of how “You” appear to the public… 

I tried to call “you” today… your phone prompting system would never direct me or ask me the right question; I just didn’t know which department I needed to go to… I don’t think we can do business together.

I finally got to you through “your” phone prompting system today and after I figured out what your four digit extension was.  You have such a nice voice on your message, but today is Tuesday and you reminded me that you were going to be out of the office all day… last Thursday; so I am to assume you still haven’t showed up to work? I don’t think we can do business together.

After trying to deal with “your” phone system, (it must be me, I just can’t figure out how to use the phone systems), I decided to drive to “your” office and maybe have the opportunity to speak with you face to face, as I feel your phone system must not be working correctly.  The pretty girl behind the desk, who looked up at me ,after about a minute of texting on her cell phone, was very friendly and would help me… her phone rang and she had to handle a personal emergency… thirty seconds later, the emergency was solved and she would be able to meet her friend around five on Friday as she would leave work a little early. 

She didn’t know if you were in, she tried to contact you in your office but there was no answer… she went to the computer and sent you an email to advise you, I was at the office… and no, I’ll try again later.  No, don’t bother; I don’t think we can do business together.

So I went home and called “your” office.  Your receptionist seemed very busy and quickly put me on hold but shortly returned and asked; how may I help you?  No, you were not in but you should be in shortly and if I could leave my name and number, you would return my call and if I had any questions about the company, I could just go to your web site and see how wonderful your business is.  So after I hung up the phone, I went to your web site… very impressive, lots of information and I’m waiting for you to return a call… waiting… It’s now five in the afternoon, so I tried calling you back; I can tell by your web site, you must be very busy and working late.  Wouldn’t you know it; your office was closed and if I would just leave a short message and my number, you would get right back with me… Uh, I’m sorry I called; I don’t believe we can do business together.

The next morning, I called, “you”, and you answered your phone.  You let me know you were on your way to the office and would get right back with me as soon as you got there.  After an hour, I called you back and you apologized for not returning a call, but you asked how you could help me; so I gave you my information and I could hear you typing away.  You asked me if I have been to our web site… No, I didn’t know I could fill out all the forms right there… yes I can hold… No, it’s not madam, its sir… and yes, I can come to your office and sign the forms.  What time is good?  Why, yes, I can be there in 30 minutes.  As I arrived and walked through the foyer into your office, I noticed the old fast food wrappers in your waste can and a smell of stale beer coming from the same area.  As you came through the door, I noticed the coffee stains on your shirt and you needed a hair cut; and did you forget to shave this morning?  As we walked into your conference room, I just couldn’t get over the layer of dust on the shelves and the water stains on the desk surface and the trash can over flowing.  Another thing that disturbs me is the smell of alcohol reeking from all the sweat pouring from forehead and armpits. As I looked over the paperwork and you took another swallow from your bottle of water; I asked if I could take the paperwork home to review it closer.  The look on your face was priceless, your eyes rolling up and then with your best sarcastic pleasantry, “that will be fine”.  As I walk out the door, feeling rushed, you opened the door and asked me to call you if I had any questions.  Oh, I don’t think I’ll have any questions; because I don’t believe we can do business together.

So this is how business is being done today?  Is this how your customers see you?  Did you ever wonder why your business isn’t growing?  These are just a few comments that I have received from customers so I could write of their experience.  You probably have some of your own; please share.