Legend has it; Decoration Day started in the South, when widows and mothers of fallen Confederate soldiers were busy clearing the graves of their loved ones and couldn’t bear to watch as the union soldier’s burial area become overgrown. Not only did they clear the area but placed flowers on the graves, knowing that somewhere there was a widow or mother who didn’t know where their soldier was and knew they were never coming home.
Flash forward one hundred years and remembering my southern family tradition of working all day Saturday and Sunday of Decoration Day weekend in the hills of Southeastern Kentucky, clearing and cleaning family cemeteries, repairing fences, trimming trees, filling in sunken graves and preparing for our families Decoration Day celebration. As our families gathered to eat in picnic style, kids running about the yard, the adults talk among each other, waiting for the arrival of the flora to decorate the cemeteries. Soon the flora would arrive, lunch was served and as the last piece of pie was removed from the pan, the adults moved to the truck that carried the flora wreaths and crosses of roses with red, white and blue ribbons. Soon all the kids were shushed and directed to the cemetery to wait for grand parents and senior family members make their way through the lines of family. As flowers were put in place, the markers and graves that brought the most tears were those whose lives ended defending our nation. Twenty years before, an uncle survived the invasion of Normandy, only to die the next day from a snipers bullet. The weather marked grave of a WWI uncle who died from exposure in Europe and an uncle who was wounded in Tennessee during battle who was brought home to die from the wounds sustained. I knew all the stories and could see the pain in the watery eyes of the grownups as they relived the memories.
Those traditions are long past as I only get to visit the different family cemeteries every several years. As with many other families, traditions change, families move away and we don’t seem to make the time to teach our children traditions of old. Decoration Day is Memorial Day and I will for ever have the memories of what Memorial Day really is; a time to remember those who stood before us, to defend us, who made the ultimate sacrifice for our nation and family. Memorial Day is a reminder to remember.
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