Wednesday, October 7, 2020

PTSD and the Dark Hallway

 


He stared into darkness of his morning coffee cup as she hurriedly prepared herself for work in silence. He stared up to take a quick glance at her face, as she passed by him without saying a word, the silence was deafening. Grabbing her purse from the shelf and the rattle of the keys in her hand, she walked out of their home turning, and locking the door to his self-imposed prison. For a moment, he sat in the dull light of the table lamp and decided to load his coffee cup once again. Walking into the kitchen, opening the cabinet door, and removing his favorite pain reliever. Pouring the contents into his coffee, he found the bottom of the brown plastic bottle and tossed it into the trash on top of the other three bottles of the week. Turning the cup up and savoring the flavor of the coffee and cheap whiskey. He wandered through his house, staring out the window into nothing and remembering the battles long past. Walking down the hallway where his military past hung in glory, certificates, pictures, medals, and plaques of service to his unit and our country. Taking another swallow of his wicked brew, the dullness inside his body increased, as the pain began to fade. He continued into the cluttered bedroom and opened his closet door and looked at the strips on the sleeve of his uniform. Reaching in, grabbing the hanger and holding it up to stare at his former glory. Carrying it over to the bed, laying it over the wrinkled covers as he stared down upon the uniform that had long ago, shrank inside the closet. Taking another swallow, he found the bottom of his coffee cup, and now it was time to take his journey. He reached down and opened the drawer to the nightstand where his transportation to Valhalla awaited him. Its polished body sparkled, it was the chariot that would carry him on a final journey he had long anticipated and never spoken a word of to anyone.  He walked back into the bathroom and stared into the mirror at eyes of his captor, closed his eyes and started down the long dark hallway, raising his chariot to his head, and with the crack of a whip, he opened the door to Valhalla.

Everyday, an average of 22 veterans walk down a darkened hallway and open a door to Valhalla. Their loved ones and family will have no idea of their planned journey. The signs are often there, alienation, reserved and self-medication. If you are a veteran or the family of a veteran, please call 800-273-8255 and press 1 when answered. A trained responder will answer your call. Valhalla waits for all our warriors, help us help them put off the journey.